Admit it, girls. If you read horror and urban fantasy you know that in the event of a zombie apocalypse you’d want to be one of those badass, leather-clad chicks who can survive without the help of some guy. Of course, you’d probably want “some guy” around (preferably a tall Scandinavian-type), but you don’t want to rely on one for survival. In the world of the undead, or in the case of my new novel, Solstice, “ragers,” you’d better be more Elizabeth Swann and less Bella Swan.
The main part of survival against the lumbering, rotting masses (real zombies—not Black Friday shoppers) is choosing a weapon that will do the trick. Sure, firearms are a given, and thankfully, most of the characters in Solstice were able to get their hands on a decent gun. But what happens to the Realtor, the soccer mom, the teacher, or the lowly novelist, who does not have access to a firearm? Let’s take a look at some good options for the weaponry-challenged during the zombie uprising.
1. Baseball bat. This is my number one choice since I have a little baseball player in the house that I’ll need to protect. Plus, we all know the only real way to stop a zombie is by killing the brain. Choosing a good bat can go a long way in surviving a zombie attack. But, remember, just like in a real baseball game, weight, length, and composition does come into play. If your bat is too heavy, you’re going to tire quickly. You don’t want to become some undead banker’s late lunch.
2. Kitchen/Butcher Knife. This is for close work, so remember make it quick, stab the sucker in the head, and then haul ass.
3. Vehicles. Now this one is a little “iffy” because it depends on what kind of car or truck you drive, but a good-sized SUV or mini-van can take out ten or fifteen zombies pretty easily. Motorcycles are out—a flailing zombie might snatch you right off your Harley. And convertibles are a big no-no—there’s no protection behind a ragtop. I drive a Mini Cooper convertible—great for speed & maneuvering through tight spots, but useless if it gets stalled among a hoard of the undead. AGGGH!
4. Fireplace poker/crowbar/axes/shovels/hoe. Jab, stab, poke or just swing away. Objects like these can be effective when battling one zombie or a dozen zombies.
5. Rolling Pin/ cast iron skillet/steam iron. Heavy, blunt objects are good for taking down zombies of the slow persuasion. Those 28 Days Later rage-induced zombies are another matter entirely. Either way, once you have used any kitchen utensil on a zombie, remember not to use it for baking a pie afterward. YUCK!
Other small reminders. Always, always wear good running shoes. High heels aren’t going to work and neither will boots or dressy shoes with slick soles. Also, some website suggests flammable substances like lighter fluid, gasoline, etc., but I wouldn’t trust that. A rabid, flaming zombie is just going to spread the fire and burn down your house. You’re again screwed.
Finally, if time is on your side, you can make the simple, yet effective “nails-in-a-board.” This is a great old stand-by weapon.
Thanks for reading and stay safe!
Please click HERE for a full list of Donna Burgess’s books and links to buy from Amazon.co.uk and Amazon.com